Let's Talk
It is as important for us to speak to humans, as it is to speak to each other. Both cats and humans use verbal and visual 'words'. One of our greatest challenges in helping our humans is getting them to understand what we're telling them. Communication is the key and speaking two entirely different languages doesn't make that key turn smoothly.
Lewis Carroll wrote in Alice Through the Looking Glass, "It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens that whatever you say to them, they always purr. If they would only purr for 'yes' and mew for 'no', or any rule of that sort, so that one could keep up a conversation! But how can one deal with a person if they always say the same thing?"
Excuse me Mr. Lewis, but just because you don't understand what someone is saying doesn't mean
she's saying the same thing over and over.
We know that humans do have a language and most of you are familiar with the words that your human will use in a given situation. It's my hope that we can help humans learn to understand our language, too. Because we have all these wonderful moving parts of our body that are incorporated in our language, they often miss the subtleties.
Humans like to believe that they can talk to and understand any species using only a slight variation in their language. Has your mom ever talked to you in the same voice that she talks to the mini humans with the smelly pants? "Oootsy Boootsy Baby, how's my little sweetums. Ooogie boogie baby." Yuck! I taught my mom early on not to speak to me that way. I simply walked out of the room whenever she tried it and she finally curbed the gibberish.
One thing common in many languages is tone. If my mom says, "Where did that roll of stamps go?" and her voice is low, I know I better find them and get them back to her quickly. Just as when she's petting my butt and I don't want my butt petted, I give her a low "Mmmmrrrrrr" and she'll take her hand away.
Another common trait is volume. Mom doesn't yell very much so I know when she raises her voice it's because she's afraid. This happens when I start to jump in the oven after she has sprayed some stuff in there. She lets out a very loud "NO!" and I dash under the bed in the other room. She follows me with a wet rag and washes my paws and fur. I have to believe she's doing this for a good reason, because otherwise she wouldn't come near me with water.
Humans have done research studies to see how we communicate with each other. The only thing they've learned is that although they may not understand what we're saying they do know we're speaking to them. How often have you stood in the hallway shouting to your mom and heard only the murmurs of dust bunnies in return? Why? Is your mom ignoring you? Is she hard of hearing? No. She simply doesn't understand. She probably thinks you're just telling her that you're home; you're going to grab a quick bite and then take a nap.
We live in this amazing technological age. People have devices to communicate anywhere, anytime. Actually, they use this technology to such a level that all the communications they receive overwhelms them. Emails they don't want from people they don't know. Phone calls from telemarketers trying to sell them things they don't need and tons of junk mail trying to do the same thing. I can't tell you what this Viagra stuff is, but mom gets lots of those. I think that may be why they're not honing their communication skills with us. They just don't have the time or the energy it takes to learn our calming, peaceful language. That's why it's so important that we continue to try to teach them even when it seems hopeless.
Do humans think we think?
The thing about communication is that both parties must be able to reason--to be able to think. Humans believe we think on a less complex level than they do. (All right, cut the giggling.) They think we don't do cognitive thinking, that our actions are the result of chance and repetition. I see no reason to try to change their beliefs. Let them strut their superior intellect and believe that some freak accident erased the messages off the answering machine.
More sensitive humans believe we know what they're feeling, or even what they're thinking. Of course, we do and often we know what they're going to think. I know that when my mom finds me sleeping in her office chair in front of her computer she'll think about finding something else to do until I get up. I know if she has a lot of work to do, she'll try to bribe me with treats.
Some humans (very confused humans) think they can train us. Don't be shocked, they do this to dogs all the time, not understanding that dogs are as without direction as humans. They both need the training. We respond to training about the same way we respond to water. Sometimes, though, it's the 'path of least resistance' to let your human believe you're learning what they're trying to teach. Don't let them overdo it. DON'T DO TRICKS!
Humans are very self-involved creatures
They assume that every other being exists to serve them. Since that's a position we already hold, you can see that communication between us is inherently problematic. What is important is that they at least understand that you're trying to communicate with them. If they have done something to upset you--unroll the toilet paper roll; look for the treasure buried in the plant in the kitchen window; or simply sit and stare at them from some high perch. They don't like that.
The painful process of getting them to listen
Do you remember the first time your mom rubbed your tummy and you started thumping your tail on the floor to tell her to stop, and for soome reason, she still kept rubbing. You turned around, let out a blood curdling scream and wrapped all four of your paws, claws extended around her arm? Do you remember how surprised she looked? She didn't know that thumping your tail on the ground was a very clear message to desist all tummy taps. She knew after that--you communicated.
Your human probably talks her language to you all the time and when she's up to it, she might even try a meow or two. She may try to communicate by touch. She'll pet, stroke and rub you, often for her sake as much as yours. She wants to communicate with you. She needs to communicate with you. Help her--in the end, you'll be helping yourself.
What body parts do we use in communication?
Humans will sometimes use their hands along with their voice to communicate. They have to because they learned to use only a few parts of their bodies to communicate. Rarely will you see them position their ears, move their whiskers forward or back, or adjust the size of their eyes. Of course, they're at a terrible disadvantage due to their lack of a tail. However, I have on rare occasions, seen the hair stand up on the back of Mom's neck. It might have been when I brought in that giant mouse.
Finally, what is almost a secret weapon in communicating with humans--the silent meow? Just sit silently and look at them as woefully as possible. Open your mouth a tad, but don't let any sounds out. This old standard is a guaranteed way to get your human's attention and get you some quality petting time. That is really the bottom line to good communications.
Our Proper Place
In the disco era of the '80s, we overtook dogs as the most popular house pet. Apparently, humans have finally realized that a barking dog is nowhere near as comforting as a purring cat. Nothing soothes a human as much as our sitting in their lap and allowing them to pet us.
Human scientists are also beginning to acknowledge the positive effects we have on people. Reports indicate that when we let them stroke us they lower their blood pressure. A whole lot better than prescription drugs, that's for sure, and you don't even have to go to Canada for a good deal. Some credit cats with helping senior humans in maintaining mental function; for being excellent companions and generally making them feel better. Some humans have realized that they're going to the doctor less and needing fewer medications. They also noticed that what we may consume in cat food, treats, and toys is less expensive than doctors and drugs.
That's it then
We have come full circle--back to what we talked about in the first part. The best thing you can do for your human is to be a good example. Much of what you have read here I'm sure you already knew, but a little refresher course every now and then can't hurt. The more we know about ourselves, the better we will be able to teach our humans to be.
Jean Sheldon, a native Chicagoan, spent much of her life as a graphic artist. She self-published a book of poems called 'Jelly Side Down', a book on basic car repair called 'Glove Box Guide to Keeping it on the Road', and co-authored, with her cat, Xena, 'The Way of the Cat: Teaching Humans to Be'. At fifty-three, she began writing mysteries and in May of 2007 published the first book of her Chicago Police Detective Kerry Grant series. Website: http://www.jeansheldon.com
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