How Your Cats Train You to Obey - Simple Cat Sign Language

I have been trained by 5 cats over the past 10 years. They have all used the same basic sign language method of training. Of course, there are many variations to the method. It all depends on how fast a learner you are and/or how fast you comply with their requests. These are the 4 basic communications.

Teaching the Human "I Want Food Now"

1. Stand or sit close to human and stare at them until they look at you, then lick your lips to indicate that you are ready to eat.
2. Jump on human and lick their lips.
3. Jump on human and bite their lips.
4. In all cases, follow up by immediately leading them to your preferred eating place.

Telling the Human "Its Time to Wake Up"

1. Sit on bed and stare at them until they open their eyes.
2. Sit on human and stare at them until open their eyes.
3. Lick their lips or eyelids until they wake up.
4. Sit on human and give them a few good smacks across the face - claws kept in.
5. If none of the above work - carefully insert one claw inside human's nose and press down.
6. In all cases, follow up by immediately leading them to your preferred eating place.

Letting the Human Know "I Am Unhappy with You"

1. Refuse to acknowledge them.
2. If they look at you, turn your back on them.
3. If they touch you, get up and move away.
4. Indicate that you are hungry and then refuse your food.
5. Shred something that belongs to them.
6. Beat up dogs - if available.

Telling the Human "I Like You"

1. Sit beside them.
2. Curl up on their lap.
3. Rub head on them.
4. Lift head, look them in the eye, and indicate that you will allow yourself to be kissed.
5. Present them with a mouse (dead or alive) - if available.

There are pros and cons to learning what your cat is telling you. On the one hand it makes life simpler when you know what your cat wants. On the other hand, once your cat has you trained in the basics and now knows that you are trainable, she will continue the instruction. You will be in training for life.